One day will I decide I need more?
More care, more support.

Will you decide you need less?
Less smothering, less hovering.

Will I crave closeness while you plead for space?
Who knows?

But nothing terrifies me more than imagining my life without you.
So I’ll relentlessly nag you with the hope that it will never be that way for us.

For I don’t want anything to fester.
To wake up one day and wish “Oh, I should have told you sooner.”
When the problem was just the dishes or the laundry or the food shop.

So I pester you now. Persistently point out the flaws. Continually criticise and complain.
All because I don’t ever want to be without you.

And I know it’s deeply annoying and frustrating.
That I pick the worst times to bring up my grievances.
When you’re busy and stressed with work or you’ve just woken up.
It vexes me to no end that I am this way.

But if I don’t speak up now it might alter.  
Turn into something ugly and unyielding without us realising.
Something so complicated and messy that it can never be untangled.
Undone.

So can you believe me when I say that I do all this grumbling out of love?  
Out of fear that one day these seemingly insignificant problems will transform into monsters and chase away all the good.

No, that would break my heart.
I can’t allow it.
So I’ll complain today because I can’t bear to lose you tomorrow.
I’m sorry but I love you too much to be silent.